Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?
The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.
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